My Yesterdays

Last year at the Cub's Game it was the middle of summer and boy was it hot , we was in the direct sun , I wish that I would of gotten a bigger hat then the one that my daughter let me use I could of used a cap with a bigger brim on it . I bet it was 90 degrees that day and the water up there was like 6.00 a bottle thats just crazy we was trying to share a bottle at a time but the kids and I got over heated and had to go down to the lower level to cool off . My blood sugar went really high and I don't know why I guess it was my body trying to compensate for the heat, I do know when I get over heated that I'm not feeling well , I use to be able to get by with it but , I guess I'm not getting any younger lol.. You know I just realized tonight that I must of had this diabetes for a few years or more before I found out .. it just dawned on my that all of a sudden I needed glasses , I never really needed them till I was 48 my eye sight went just like that .. I bet that was the beginning of getting it of course losing 30 pds has helped me maintain my blood sugar levels now If i can just lose more weight maybe I can get it under control..

I was just thinking of how beautiful my Moms house and what a improvement it got .. When the city was giving out home improvement loans and she got approved for one that she didnt have to pay back she got new roof , carpeting and new cabinets.. lots of new improvements.. oh and new siding beautiful .. I was thinking she said that she is leaving the house to me when she passes on and between me and my brother we could either just sell it and split the money or I can put it in my name and continue making the payments .. I dont think that she has gotten mortgage life insurance on the house but I do know allot of people that do have that its great to have in case something happens. But for now she is the toughest woman I know and will be 77 this month and has beat cancer two times.. the doc says she probably has another 20 years lol.. I love her.. we had lunch today and then to the store I treasure the time we have together..

When My son was younger, he had alot of problems when he was born with his sleep apnea , His first two years of his life was spent on that machine .. I am so grateful they had them machines then.. as he was growing up I worried about him allot , we spent so much time me and my hubby making sure he was safe.. but he did survive his younger years and when he reached puberty he developed acne and we searched all over to find the best for him but couldnt find any, and now surfing the net I come across this and I wish It was around when he was younger as it seems to be the best acne treatment that there is for his type of problem. My little boy is all grown up now and will be turning 28 this friday.. with babies of his own .. now he gets to go through all the fun things we did when he was younger with his little family..

I was watching animal planet the other night and its so sad how some animals are being treated .. Dogs , cats and even horse's . Speaking of which I had horses when I was growing up we lived out in the country .. I loved ridding them I actually had 4 different horses at different times well I would have two at a time to keep the other horse company.. my first pair was named Dixie and Copper, Dixie was a white horse with little black spots all over her , and Copper was a palomino, both were very loving and caring horses, And we spent so much money on all of the things horses needed, I wish that I had access to these horse supplements , they look very reasonable and the best for the horses.. I wish this company was around when I had my horses.  There products look the best. Later.

Well its true thing happen for a reason.. and although you dont always know what that reason is you just go on your daily lives and sometimes you question it .. Like why did that happen.. This past week has been a nightmare for me , I have received news that I might not have a job after Nov 1 of this years , I have been with this company for 9 years and love my job .. again things happen for a reason .. So I will just accept it and move on.. maybe it means that now I can get into my candle business that I so have wanted to do the last 6 years .. maybe its God's way of telling me to move on to bigger and better things.. If I do end up losing my job then , I think I will go on unemployment for a while I think that I so deserve it after all these years .. rest up get my head straight and dive into making more candles my passion.. There was a time this year that I was going to give up my candle business but then decided not to so see there this is the reason I didn't. I do know that I'm in such need of a vacation right now I and so wish I could go to Greese and stay at one of Mykonos villa rentals But its a dream but the scenery there is just beautiful and would be so relaxing right now .. maybe one day. Well I must get back to my job , dont know how long I will have it .. Later

I have been so so busy this past week with insurance and a chiro and with a toe infection.. I guess they say I have been not paying to much attention to my diabetes thus getting the infection.. I am antibiotics the z pak ya.. its a miracle drug really whatever it is .. the next day after taking the first two my toe infection was starting to go away .. I'm amazed.. although i'm not feeling to well with the chiro adjustments been really sore .. and very very tired i don't know if its from the chiro or the infection.. probably the infection.. been running a fever also but now I have to really watch what I eat .. So today i have checking my blood sugars really carefully and they seem to be in the 160 tys for some reason .. so I didn't eat much today and now they are running 110 , I don't know again if its because of the infection or the antibiotics , but we will see soon .. only been three days .. While at work we have printers that run so so slow, I have been there for 9 years and so wish that they would look into getting new printers ones that run faster, it seems when a customer comes in that they have to wait for the statements forever but we get a chance to talk with them while they wait. Back to my diabetes when my blood sugar is normal I am not hungry , the past few weeks I sure have been so so hungry , and recently been have to us the bathroom allot seems like water and pop run right through me lol.. But I try and stay positive ..we haven't gotten the car fixed yet still waiting on the insurance.. Thank all that commented on my blog asking how I was and those that emailed me. Later

On my way home from work tonight I had forgetten to pay my moms telephone bill she ask me to .. So I stopped at HyVee, hubby called when I got off of work to ask me if I would stop at the local Whiteys to get him a Hot fudge sundae.. hmmm if only I could eat one .. oh well back to the story. I went in paid the bill for my Mom and then headed out to the car , it was sprinkling rain at that time .. I got in the car and proceeded to leave the parking lot.. As i got up to the exit which by the way I never take it I always go out the back way because its hard to get out of the parking lot , just a stop sign for people coming out but not for the side streets.. Well to make a long story short .. I was getting ready to exit the parking lot and I looked to my left which there was a motorcycle comeing but he had his turn signal on to turn into HyVee , then I Looked to the right to see if there was any cars assuming that when I looked to the left the bike would of been along side of me but to my surprise I didnt see anything and just took off out of the driveway. Well the guy evidently must of lost control and went to turn he was driving to fast for condition instead of making the turn he slid right in front of my car and hmm I hit him, it all happen so fast i was in a state of panic .. I got out to see if he was ok and he jumped up and was cursing and throwing stuff parts of his bike and his helmet thus scaring the shit out of me .. I made a bee line back to my car and called 911 and spoke to the officer all the time im scared to death this guy would come over to my car and continue to scream at me .. locking my doors still parking halfway out in the street.. i was terrified , the dispatcher was very nice lady she kept me as calm as she could all the while a full fledge Panic Attack was on it way. she wouldn't let me off the phone , I wanted to call my hubby but she said no stay on the line till the police officer came, she said she would call my hubby and get him there for me finally she heard the office was there I ASK DID YOU GET AHOLD OF MY HUSBAND.. She said no but would keep trying .. Finally she let me off the phone and the officer came up to me and said are you all right ,, I said im in the middle of a panic attack he said don't do that I have had one and never want to go through that again. kind of made me laugh , I'm talking to a Police office big strong man who you would think would not have those.. but I guess big people have them too.. Well after calming me down he told me to move the car back , I was shaking so bad he ask if i could do otherwise he would .. I managed to back up were he told me to.. then and only then did I try and call hubby myself it was taking him way to long to get there as we only live less than 5 blocks from were I was at.. He said he was on his way.. ok im all stressed i cant for the life of me find my dam insurance card its there I know its there but were is it , its not were it is to be .. he said lets just start with your drivers license so I gave it to him.. then continued looking for the insurance card.. found it not were it was to be but found it before that I called my life savor daughter .. Christy she is my salvation my rock she keeps me straight.. finally hubby is there i give him the card to take to the police man as I sit in the car shaking and crying and just trying to breath .. thank god for christy she came and saved the day calming me down telling me to breath.. Then my other daughter showed up and then there was two of my girls.. my son called hubby spoke to him I dont know much was said I was way to upset to talk to anyone.. well what seemed like hours which was only one hour the driver of the motorcycle refused treatment , still holding his arm i ask if he was ok he said yes .. All I could see and still in vision is that man laying in the middle of the street floppy around and thinking omg I killed him, till he got up .. My bumper is messed up and then I have blue paint on my hood of my car.. I drive a 98 blazer it sets up higher than the motorcycle.. So that is why I didn't see him .. the officer suspected that when he went to make the turn in HyVee he lost control and went down just as he got to me thats why I didnt see him anymore and thus hit him and he skidded on down the street.. My mind keeps seeing that over and over again .. when you hit another person all you can see is omg I hope he dont die I could not live with that.. The officer spoke to him and then came over to me and said tell me your side of the story sweetie lol. he was so so nice trying to keep my mind off of having my panic attack .. I told him what happened and he said thats good , its exactly what he told me . so you don't have anything to worry about .. The driver of the motorcycle tried to change his story and the officer said no you said this the same thing the other driver said .. he got the ticket for not having his motorcycle under control and I got nothing .. just a police report to fill out .. And a warning that my license plate was expired .. I was going to go up there today but decided not to and wait till tomorrow .. should of went today.. grrrr anyway he said it would be ok.. You can bet I will be up there tomorrow getting them . man.. things happen for a reason .. if I did not go to Hyvee to pay my moms phone bill which I should of did earlier today , and if my hubby didnt call and want a Hot fudge sundae I would of been home safe and sound. I'm glad the man is not to badly hurt , I dont know what I would of done if it was more serious. Bad thing about it is I had the dispatcher call my hubby she wouldn't let me off the phone I was so stressed out and she kept me calm.. or somewhat. Hubby didn't know the number and didn't answer the phone .. when they left the message he called the number back and soon found out it was me he was there in minutes.. What a night I hope I can sleep tonight we have to call the insurance tomorrow and get this police report filled out , and then we have to have the car looked at and a estimate done on it . Once I get up in the morning will take a picture of it for you all to see .. Its so sad that we are having so much trouble with this car ,, im beginning to think that we should have it . first the motor and then other things going wrong on it. Here is a little tip check your car out and know were all your buttons are and what they are all for .. it took me forever to find the hazard lights .. lol Well even though i had my seat belt on both of my shoulders are hurtting me and the back of my neck.. I suppose I was tensed up when I hit him the jolt and back and forth reaction .. What i am happy about is that the air bag did not go off. I would of really freaked. I hope something good starts happening for us very soon.. we want to move to a lower apt .. will that ever come true. Well im so sore now and just got out of the hot tub and need to go to bed.. and relax , i'm going to be sore tomorrow from tightening up .. I feel so bad for that man he got a ticket and got hurt. I have to keep reminding me that it was not my fault. I got to go im tired.. write more tomorrow..

My daughter thinks I have OCD I dont think I do but maybe a little , I do have a problem with germs but am not to overly crazy about it.. Really i'm not I do wipe the cart handles off with the wipes they supply who dont? do you ? I dont know who touched it or who sneezed on it or coughed on it , I do crindge when I see a baby putting there mouth on the handle while riding in the seat .. I guess maybe I do have a small problem. Ok I do wash my hands after I go to the bathroom Who dont? , I do wash my hands after handling money at work  Who dont ?  I do carry purell in my purse who dont ?  I do scrub my counters and bathroom down with disinfectant who dont ? Were I work there is just more than one person at my desk we all share so I wash it down with Alcohol  who wouldnt?  But I only do it three times a week in a 5 day work week.. you just dont know who I work with .. Say I have OCD well fine i guess I just don't like germs ,, I am a diabetic that cant take any antihistamines because of the other meds im on , I'm allergic to penicillin and other types of meds so if it get sick guess who has to ride it out me no meds .. do you see were im coming from here?  I can not take a tylenol because of the conflict with my other meds so if i get the flu guess who rides it out me not you .. so you see were im coming from here with the germs .. When my grand babies are sick with a cold or flu who don't want to be around them to catch it ME why because I cant take meds to make myself feel better.. If I'm at a restaurant and my waitress walks up with my food and I see her sneeze on it .. who do you think is not going to eat it .. thats right me .. call me crazy or say I have OCD but would you eat the food? If I get a stung by a bee who do you think will need to get to the hospital ASAP Me why because I'm so allergic to them I have only 20 minutes to get there if not I could die.. does that make me have OCD .. no .. I guess this post is just a rant about how I live my life. Yes I'm picky but I have to be no one else would take care of me so I have to care for myself. Yes I have anxiety who wouldn't after all I have been though , I have been through two separate different cancers which include  chemo and radiation with my Mom I have taken care of my hubby when he had Celulatis .. I have watch my best friend and coworker die of Cancer .. call me crazy but what? you would have it too.. Would you drink out of a glass at a restaurant without a straw? nope not me I'm allergic to the soap that they use on them my lips break out in blisters.. so is that OCD too.. See most people don't understand the things I do have a reason behind it .. I wont eat after anyone either .. never have my babies or my grand babies . its just a thing I have about it thats how you get germs.. If i share  a meal I take what I want on my plate they can have the rest .. do i wash my hands 50 times a day No but I do wash them at least maybe 20 .. only because I needed to.. Do I use purell or carry it in my purse all the time yes.. why if someone shakes my hand or if there are not wipes for the cart handles i use it, At work I have one sitting on my desk why because if i touch someones check they give me or cash , I use it .. I guess I have a thing with germs .. But how many of you got the cold and flu this last season? was it more than once ? I got one cold and a slight flu when all my coworkers was out sick .. why because I washed my equipment meaning my computer desk monitor mouse and phone down with alcohol . I know I do have a thing for my desk at work .. it has to be in order and the keyboard and everything has to be perfectly lined up.. I'm not the only one at work like that there is a man who works there is the same way .. if you move anything on his desk he knows its been touched and moves it right back lol. Now I have ask allot of questions on this post and would like some feedback on what you think. about making sure you are as germ free as possible .. Really all the things I do I think is normal I don't think I have OCD and if I did who would it bother , I'm not bothering anyone else with it , I don't make others wash there hands I don't make others wipe down there carts , I feel if I do have a phobia its mine.